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August 2003
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Monday, August 04, 2003
 

Conservative Emphasis

 

For years I have taken comfort in the steady certainty that I share with George Will only an abiding love of baseball and, perhaps, an enjoyment of certain classic works of literature. Now, however, when I find myself nodding in vigorous agreement with his political columns – particularly this one that appeared yesterday – well, there’s no point in denying it any further. Get out the bow-tie and checkered sportcoat: I’m a fuddy-duddy, a curmudgeon, an unreconstructed, finger-wagging, backward-looking conservative. And so, in that spirit, let me offer some thoughts for the day.

 

First of all, about these damned radicals running the guv’mint. Back in my day, we had something known as “responsibility.” That meant making tough decisions and taking the heat for them, not just gratifying the urge of the moment. Take this damned fool tax plan. Everyone knows the bills are coming due for everything from Social Security for the retiring baby boomers to the costs of our foreign adventures halfway around the world, and yet these wooly-headed fanatics keep telling us we can raise more money by giving the money away than by saving it. Sorry, that new-math business offends my good conservative common sense. Penny saved is a penny earned, and all that. If you want to pay for something, grit your teeth and hand over the money – don’t try to flummox people with this supply-side bunkum.

 

Then there’s all these new ideas. We conservatives hate change. We like things better the way they were. Why, back in the good old days, we had full employment, rising wages, low inflation, low interest, falling crime rates, rising markets, consumer confidence up the yin-yang, and we were on the road to paying off the national debt with surpluses as far as the eye could see. Sure, there were a few corporate shenanigans, but that’s just human nature in high times. And there were those scandals about the President, cooked up by a bunch of busy-bodies who couldn’t mind their own damned business (and real conservatives hate busy-bodies). But generally speaking, things were pretty good. And as I always say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

 

So what’s the first thing these bomb-throwers do when they get in? They upset the whole apple cart – rip up the budget, start handing out money left and right to their corrupt cronies and backers, gut the whole apparatus of regulations and treaties that kept things orderly and predictable. It was all “new” this and “new” that. And I can’t say as I’m surprised that things leapt right off the tracks after they got started. Change for change’s sake is bad. We need to do these things with prudence and moderation.

 

Finally, conservatives believe in a strong national defense. And I think we all agree that it’s more important than ever when the country is under attack. Now, call me old fashioned, but it seems to me that when someone attacks you, you hit ‘em back. You don’t hit their neighbor. You don’t hit the guy who looks a little like them. You find the S.O.B. who did the deed and settle up in front of God and the community so they won’t try it again. Be strong and set a good example and you won’t have to worry about your personal safety much.

 

They got off to a good start in Afghanistan, I’ll give ‘em that. Did it fast, did it right, didn’t hurt no one that didn’t need hurtin’. Problem is, they took their eye off the ball and got hijacked by a bunch of pie-in-the-sky idealists who used the nation’s grief to follow their own agenda. Now I’m not sure what those boys in the Pentagon are trying to accomplish, but it doesn’t seem to have much to do with this nation’s security. First they pick a fight with some no-account tinhorn dictator with such a flimsy case that even our best and oldest friends start looking at us like we’re a rabid dog that slipped the chain. Then they go and leave our brave young lads in harm’s way with no plan, no purpose and no exit strategy, so they can be picked off like sitting ducks by every wild-eyed crackpot with a score to settle. And when their bluff is called, they try to cover their butts with so many lies and exaggerations that no one believes a word the American government says anymore.

 

We wouldn’t be in this mess if these folks running the country followed good conservative principles: prudent ambitions and sound, fundamental execution.  Do what’s necessary to solve the problems at hand, but keep order and don’t mess with traditions and institutions that work. Every crazy college kid has a plan to remake the world in a day, and there are good reasons why the grown-ups don’t let them do it. The fact that sober-looking adults in suits and ties are spouting the same nonsense these days doesn’t make it right. And apparently, they’re even calling themselves conservatives. They have some nerve!


9:30:56 AM    Emphasize This! []

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