The Government They Deserve
Christine Gregoire was sworn in as Governor of Washington yesterday, putting a formal, if not actual, end to the rancor and mystery surrounding the counting of the votes. According to reports, she was gracious and conciliatory in her opening address to the Legislature, despite getting the cold shoulder from embittered Republican reps. She also appointed a special commission headed by Republican Secretary of State Sam Reed to investigate state election practices to ensure “fairness and transparency.”
Now I don’t care much for Gregoire. I voted for her only out of fear and loathing for her opponent, and if my fellow Washingtonians saw it the other way, I was prepared to let the chips fall where they may. I have no idea whether she’ll be a good governor, but if she hopes to achieve anything, she ought to put away the smiley-face pin and bust out the whupping stick. So in the spirit of support for the new administration, here’s a dime’s worth of EA advice to Governor Gregoire – and she’d better listen, as I am one of the 129 votes that put her over the top (well, who’s to say I’m not?):
Tell the Rats, “I got your reconciliation right here, mo’fo’s!”
Because, let’s be honest, those people aren’t interested in a fair and transparent election process. They’re looking for a process that puts their guy in office. Period. As soon as the count started to go against them, the airwaves were full of the screams and howls of fraud. And maybe there was fraud. But you know, when you make every election a war to the death, that’s what happens. The R’s got outmaneuvered and are reduced to whining to the courts and running ads begging the citizens of Washington to put themselves through the whole nasty campaign again! Personally, I think their already-small odds went down a few fathoms when Gregoire put her hand on the Bible, but who knows?
In any case, what’s the point compromising with people like that? No outcome short of “Governor Rossi” is acceptable to them. No process that validates a Democratic win will ever be “fair” enough. It was a telling moment indeed when Gregoire announced at the beginning of the final hand recount that she would concede if the votes showed her behind, but Rossi refused to make any such statement.
Gregoire, despite her utter lack of ability to run a convincing campaign or fashion an attractive message, has Democratic control of both houses of the legislature and most key state offices. If the Republicans want to act like someone farted every time she opens her mouth, that’s their business. Let them explain it to their constituents, although evidence would indicate that tolerance for childish behavior in the State House is fairly high in many Washington districts.
Gregoire would be wise to take an example from the most successful politician of the 21st century. She should go about her business as if she won by a pendulous manly mandate and tell her opponents to go to hell. Never discuss, never compromise. And if her support is still soft in 2006, maybe she should declare war on Oregon.
1:50:47 PM 
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